Production - Script Changes

Between the read-through with our actors and the feedback we gathered during rehearsals, Nicole and I went back to the script with a clearer picture of what needed to change. The read-through surfaced things that simply weren't visible when the script was just words on a page, and some of those things required more significant revision than we initially expected.

The biggest area was the voiceover. Multiple moments in Audrey's narration were describing things the audience could already see happening on screen; the green smoothie being the most obvious example. If we're filming her making a smoothie, she doesn't need to tell us she made one. We ended up not even using the green smoothie.  The voiceover should be adding information the visuals can't convey on their own, not narrating what's already visible. Cutting those self-explanatory lines made the voiceover significantly shorter and significantly better as it trusts the audience more, which I'm realizing is always the right instinct.

The workout section of the intro also had the same problem. The visual montage was doing all the necessary storytelling work, and having the voiceover running over it explaining what was happening made it feel redundant. Pulling back the narration in that section let the images breathe.

The other major change was to Mattias's energy in the first part of the argument. The line "you're doing that thing where you're mad at me for something I didn't do on purpose" was too familiar and personal for two people whose relationship is primarily competitive tension. It sounded like something you'd say to a close friend, not a rival. We decided to remove it entirely, and although we were initially nervous, it ended up being a blessing in disguise as we struggled getting our opening to be under 2 minutes.